The following entry is a journal I wrote days after I took the 29th TOPIK (Test of Proficiency in Korean) last January 20. By the way, you might read a lot of harsh words from me in this post – so, fyi, TOPIK is a very important exam we have to pass to be able to enter any graduate school here in Korea. So. There.
TOPIK. I call it the evil I have to pursue. It took all my sanity for a month (yes, you can include Christmas here, and even New Year) and I am still left struggling right after I took it.
I have been taking the past exams of TOPIK and I thought I was ready – I mean, I got a score above 70s and it was beyond what we were supposed to get- that is, 40. BUT God only knows what happened, I didn’t perform very well during the actual exam. I think. Perhaps it was the girl beside me? I didn’t like her attire – it was too sparkly, or wait, was it her make-up? Or perhaps it was the classroom? My pencil? The coffee I just drank that morning? Too bitter? I am not really sure. What I just want to bring up here is something or someone to blame with, so that I wouldn’t carry the burden all by myself – well, f*ck me right?
Or perhaps my teachers were right. It wasn’t really our time to take the exam. We weren’t really prepared for it. We just studied Korean for 4 months – what genius exorcism can it be for me to pass level 3? I was never lucky with lotto, and every damn good thing that happened in my life – I worked hard for it. So there, maybe I didn’t push myself more for last week’s TOPIK. Sigh. Blame game again. Doesn’t matter. It’s over.
My facebook status, my kakao story, and my other sns updates must have been seen as very depressing, because people started sending me messages asking me if I were okay. More so, people smile to me awkwardly when I am in the elevator with them. Well, just to make things clear – I am not suicidal guys. I do know my limits – yet of course, nah, forget it.
Well, the results will be out in less than two weeks. But, just wow, the answer sheet of the exams were released the day after – so I kind of chickened out, went crazy, and ended up crying through the night. I think I just failed. I couldn’t exactly tell because I have no idea how much will I get from my essay. But, I guess it is impossible to save it. Damn, I’m becoming pessimistic now.
I need unicorns and rainbow vomiting cats out there 😐
Here are some photos I took during exam day.
PS. I Passed TOPIK Intermediate level! and was 5 more points away from passing level 4! So, I guess, I just panicked too much last time – sorry about that guys. I’ll write a blog about how Jeonju U. prepared us for TOPIK and how I crammed for it! Good luck! 😉